Friday, July 20, 2007

Mr. Blank, I introduce to you . .

I've got the perfect fit for the 2007-2008 Atlanta Falcons at Quarterback, he is a battle tested superstar, in the mold of Michael Vick with the skill of Peyton Manning and the determination of Tom Brady. Verified through Wikipedia, his game would fit the Atlanta offense perfectly, he can move outside of the pocket, tuck and run when neccessary, and he's even played alongside T.O. so you know he can handle the pressure and make the big play downfield to Joe Horn.

He was made for this team and Coach Petrino. He is, #13 formerly of the Miami Sharks in the WFL, he "keeps all the ladies screaming," STEAMIN' WILLIE BEAMEN. Prototypical run and shoot quarterback, he has a cannon for an arm despite shoulder troubles in the past. Now I

know what your thinking, we have Joey Heisman (Harrington) and Daunte
"boatcruise" Culpepper is out there to pick up as well and even off the scrap heap we got chris redman. Those guys put together couldn't hold Beamen's Jock strap, just ask Cap Rooney. Willie Beamen is the guy who the Atlanta Falcons thought they had when they traded every top draft pick they had to get Mike Vick and stop the Chargers from picking him up, while if they had just signed Beamen back then as a free agent and drafted Tomlinson, they would have won at least two superbowls, or been to them.

Now it's not all peaches and cream with Beamen, he has been known to have problems with authority, just ask former coach Tony A'mato, the only man to seemingly have reigned him in after fleeing Miami and signing Beamen to a long-term deal which just recently expired making him the top free agent in the WFL. Reports out of Beamen's camp says that he is prepared to make the jump to the NFL. Another downfall we must mention that although he isn't be indicted by a federal grand jury at the end of the month, it is rumored that Beamen is a child-hood friend of notorious badboy, Adam Jones a.k.a. pacman. It was also rumored that Beamen doesn't like to go out and Make it Rain he has developed his own style by "making it snow" by throwing kilo's of cocaine on the stage at local gentleman's clubs, although this is just a speculation at the time and has never actually been proven it may make most NFL owners nervous. Raiders long-time owner, Al Davis is quoted as saying "I love this guy, He's incredible, I'd have taken him over that fat kid from LSU i got"

Any way you look at it, at least he's not involved in the castration of animals. SIGN HIM UP

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